A pretty long update

So sorry I haven't updated. We started a new cycle in the middle of February and I learned how to give myself shots. But I didn't get to finish b/c we left for FL on March 7th. So that cycle was another bust!! So to recap I still haven't been able to grow an egg :( It has been pretty frustrating but life happens and I have had that trip planned since the Summer. He was only with me in FL for a week and I stayed for 5 more weeks.

We took a nice trip to Universal Studios, Islands Of Adventure, and Sea World. It was so much fun and definitely a much needed vacation.

Love the shirts we got!!

I spent the rest of my time in Florida visiting my older sister and nieces and getting ready for my 3rd niece to be born (I better have a boy!!), going to the beach, going out dancing, and getting sick :(. My younger sister wasn't due til April 5th but she had Addison (Addie) early on March 31st at 11:24pm. Here are some more pics:

My mom Krissy, my twin Tracey, me, and my younger sister Shana (can't even tell she is pregnant!)

Addie with full head of hair and highlights!!

My oldest nieces Kierstynn and Cera

So I got back to ABQ on April 18th. I loved being with my family but I was so glad to be back home with Joshua (and I'm sure he was glad to have me back!). I called the dr the next day to start a new cycle and even though I took a pregnancy test the day before and got a negative I still had to go in to get a blood test so I could start progesterone. Of course it was negative and I got to start the pills. When my cycle finally started, on day 5 I started the Femara pills through day 9. I went in for an ultrasound and my eggs didn't grow so I had to give myself Brevelle shots. They told me to do a vial that day and another vial on Sat then go in on Sunday (Mother's Day) for another ultrasound to check the girls (ovaries) and see if they have grown some eggs. The shots aren't bad at all. The hardest part is getting the medicine in the shot w/out bubbles. Bubbles aren't bad but you want to get all the medicine you can. So on Sunday Joshua finally went w/ me to the dr. Of course he still doesn't know what he was looking at on the ultrasound, lol. But there was an egg that was about 12x12. The dr told me he wanted atleast one egg 17x17 or 18x18. So it's progress! We talked about doing IUI and decided to do that when it was time. I was told to take half a vial that day and come back on Tuesday afternoon for another ultrasound check. Tuesday the egg in the left ovary was 16x12. The right one was being very shy. Oh was that painful!! But there weren't any big ones in her anyway. So to keep the one in the left growing I was told to take another half on Tues and then another half on Wed then come in early Thursday. Which I got great news! The egg was 20x17!! So I got my HCG shot (trigger shot) to help with the ovulation and made an appointment for Friday afternoon for the IUI. We have been so excited! So last Friday we did the IUI. Joshua had to give them a sample of the guys and they tested it before we did it. I have been really nervous that both of us could be a problem. Well, I had nothing at all to worry about! His sperm count was around 41 million, which they would've been happy with 1 million and the mobility (how fast they swim) is at 95%, which normal is 20%. The procedure wasn't bad at all. I didn't get cramps from it. I am hoping it worked! I have to take a progesterone pill twice a day and not orally (sorry TMI but want to record everything!) for two weeks. We will find out soon if I am pregnant. I have told some people exactly when but don't want to tell everyone bc I won't be telling people til about 12 weeks if I'm pregnant so I'm not sure when I will blog about the results, just keep me in your prayers!!

Sorry if it sounds scatter-brained, trying to remember everything and it was very hard!

A Small Update and Rant

So I went to the dr on Wed and the Femara didn't work. They called me on Thurs to see if I could start letrozol (sp?) that day and take for 5 days. Then I would come in on Tues to get more tests done and if those pills didn't work I would get a shot of letrozol. Well I was pretty excited until I remembered Joshua will be out of town for about 3 weeks. Yeah so scratch that idea. I get to start my cycle over again and try next month. Oh and we have been talking about adoption. If by the time he puts on Captain and we aren't close to getting pregnant we will start the adoption process.

Ok now for my next part. A friend told me I should write about what people shouldn't say to ladies that are dealing with what I'm going through. I understand some people have said some of the things to me do not take offense!!! This is really just to get off my chest.

1. Don't tell me to not stress over it. I am trying not to and by you saying that doesn't help. It's so hard to not stress when the only thing you have ever wanted to do is be a mother!

2. Never say it will happen one day. It might and might not. You are not God, he has chosen if it will or won't and I accept that.

3. Please please please don't tell me I can have your child. I don't think it is funny. Would you want your child to know you don't want him/her? I would give anything to have any kind of moment with my own child. So think of that when you are having a "tough" day.

What you can say is that you are praying or thinking of me. That always makes me feel good.

I'm not sorry if it sounds harsh bc that is how I feel but I am sorry if you take offense even though I said you shouldn't.

Ok I am done. Have a great night!

In the beginning

I have no idea where to begin....so please forgive me on the rambling or anything else that is wrong w/ my first post!

Joshua and I started our relationship on Jan. 1, 2006. Then we got engaged on Sept. 12, 2006. He was getting forced out of his enlistment bc there were too many in his field so he decided to go back to college, East Carolina University (Go Pirates!). I talked w/ my parents and asked permission to move w/ him and just be engaged. I was 22 at the time but I still needed their respect. My dad ok'd it, thank goodness! So we moved to Greenville, NC around Oct. 2006. He joined ECU's ROTC program to become an officer in the air force. We set a date of Jan 2, 2010 to get married bc we thought he would be done w/ school then. Well we miscalculated on when he would finish which wasn't til May 2010 but I didn't feel like a hot wedding in FL so we kept the Jan date. It was a beautiful wedding! So in May 2010 he graduated college and commissioned (Distinguished Graduate!!) in the Air Force as a Munitions Maitenance Officer (21M). We were told he wouldn't enter active duty and move to Albuquerque, NM (Kirtland AFB) until after Oct. 1st. So here we were with only me working and him wondering if he should get a job. I called my mom to see if we could move in w/ her until we get our dates. Who could pass up free rent and food!? The very next day Joshua gets a call that they want him in NM by the end of the week. This is the end of June 2010. Joshua told him he couldn't do that and asked when could he leave the latest by. They told him by next Wed. We were so happy!! We couldn't move ourselves and TMO couldn't come before we left. So luckily Joshua's brother Jason got a Power of Attorney and was able to be there for when the movers picked up our stuff. So we left on a Wed and drove both cars to New Mexico. We have a cat named Bindie so we had to make a stop in St. Louis so we could drop him off at my sister's (Tracey) house bc he couldn't stay in lodging with us once we got there (we ended up flying him to us once we got settled). It took us 5 days to get there. Once we were there we stayed in lodging about 3 weeks or so. Joshua had to leave for tech school a week after we got there. He was gone for 3 months. I got a house on base and moved us in. Luckily I had wonderful neighbors who took me in and showed me around. So that is how we ended up in New Mexico. We def love it here but can't wait to see what's next!!

Now onto the part of trying to get pregnant. This could be a little too much information so I understand if you quit reading now.

July 2010 I stopped birth control. We figured we are in a stable job and have great insurance so if we get pregnant it won't matter. Well I didn't get a period til Jan 2011. Then nothing after that. So I talked to a neighbor (did I mention we have great neighbors?!) who is a Dr on base and she said that I should come in for some blood work (this was April 2010). I think they took around 12 vials of blood. Just a couple of tests didn't come out that great. My insulin is a little high and my cholesterol was pretty high. So she told me I should eat better and exercise. So starting June 2010 I began a boot camp style workout called Fit Chicks. She also referred me to a fertility specialist at UNM. They gave me Provera to start my period and Clomid to see if it will help me ovulate. The clomid didn't work even though I got pos with the ovulation tests. So they upped the dose from 50 mg to 100 mg. That still didn't work. So they upped it again to 150 mg. Finally during that round they did an ultrasound to see if any follicles were growing. On Day 3 of my cycle they saw little follicles in both ovaries and my uterus looked great! Well I went back on Day 12 bc Day 13 was a Saturday and the follicles didn't grow. So they decided to give me Femara to try this round. So I took Provera again but never started my period. I go to a fertility support group once a month and they all go to a different Dr for fertility. I decided to give them a call. I got an appt in Nov. and he diagnosed me with PCOS (Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome). He prescribed me Metformin to regulate my insulin and help me lose weight. Also he gave me birth control to take for only 2 weeks then throw it away so it will start my pd. That worked. Then I took the femara while we were visiting Joshua's family in NC (I actually forgot the medicine at home which caused a little breakdown at the airport terminal but luckily they said it was ok to take the medicine the next day so they were able to call it into a pharmacy). Supposedly I ovulated while we were NC. But I took a pregnancy test on Christmas Eve but it was negative. I called the nurse on Monday and told her I just needed birth control called in bc I still had Femara at home. So I get my pills and she actually called in Medroxy Progesterone. Which the brand name of it is Provera. I am a little ticked but maybe it will work. Trying to keep a good outlook on all this.

So that's where we are at right now. I hope it wasn't too lengthy or boring. Not sure if I will write much but will when interesting stuff will happen!